The grand pants wearing competition. Ten men just stand there being sad.

The red rims of a monkeys mouth. A child wants them to tear like licorice.

A small quiet man spends most of his time hovering on his back over fields, just high enough to look as though he is sliding on top of the grass. When he is not quiet, he is always laughing. I often see him from the train. I think he must be quite old.

A young man is folding his laundry. He pretends that each of his sweat shirts belonged to a different girl who once loved him There is a muddy indian woman on the television. He imagines her to be his mother, until she speaks and ruins the whole thing.

All the kids in class are being extra quiet because they know that Jimmy is trying to fart out of his urethra. If he is successful, the teacher will surely shit herself.

An ex airplane pilot finds that he can only sleep if he does so naked, in a cage full of geese. He is worried that this is only the first of many surprises to come.

A particular woman knows that one of her breasts deflates every time she has sex. Let me tell you. She was no slut. I often wonder what the point of that was.

Jenny is surprised every time her mother asks her where she is going. She is even more surprised when she remembers to answer and more surprised still, when she forgets. But nothing surprises her more than when her mother gives blow jobs to men she doesn't know.

Philip drops his crayon upon realizing that somewhere on earth, someone must be small enough to ride on a cats back. He wishes he could trade puberty for the chance to be that someone.

A street performer gallops across the cobble stone on his teeth. Later that night, while awake in bed, he becomes afraid of his own bathroom. He doesn't know what to say about heroes.

Everyone is excited about this new thing called a smart bomb. Some of those people think it is a low fat cheese steak. The rest of them weren't paying attention the lirst time the smart bomb was invented.

He looks at his wife and says " I cry sometimes because our beds are made from a tycoons bones." The children come into the room to mention what a large man he must have been.

A boy decides that bad kids are better at the video game "Rampage" so he blows up the arcade. Everyone dies and that makes him the best, proving his theory correct.

This one aardvark has the longest neck that ever an aardvark had. Strangely enough his brain is also much larger than normal. This is an animal who is most unhappy. He longs to communicate but has no language and no aardvarks smart enough to develop one with him. As for his long neck, I don't think that effects him adversely at all.

One day while counting his lotto winnings, the luckiest man in the world forgets he is alive. He does not know how lucky he is.

She likes to play in the wet sandbox. Someone should have given her advice.