A camp fire is burning. A mother of 7 scary individuals is praying for a storm. The fire dictates the weather.

The number one collector of plants spends most of his time under his covers smoking cigarettes and dreaming about marrying super models.

Marcy has a red light that she uses to press up against her vagina until it gets too hot and her pubic hair attacks it like a bunch of tentacles from Dragons Lair. It is the only song that still makes her cry.

Molten lava.

Someone nobody cares about is dying on a street corner. 75% of people everywhere will say they would have helped if they knew where he was and had more than $100 in their pockets.

Albert stormed off praying for a distraction. Across from him was an ice cooler. How many sodas could it hold. He stumbled down the stairs in an oddly graceful arc, as if he were kneeling on an invisible ski lift, headed down a mountain as his toes banged into the steps with a repetitive limp ankle pivot. He noticed the taste of flat clay and Styrofoam.

A homemaker is doing homework. A homewrecker is teaching home room.

Every day Larry licks a piece of rose quarts. One night a tribe of volcano worshipers carry him away. For some time his sweat has been sending them sine waves. However they let him go when they see he is afraid.

One day the ripples in a particular pond go backward and send reverse lightning into the sky. When the fish and the birds trade places because of the emerging new gravitational rules, a migrational cold war ensues. Flying fish and Penguins are crucified as traitors, while Pladapi and Flying Squirrels are forced to choose sides. In the end an agreement is reached through a tug of war.

Morgan is paying a 75 year old woman to caress his double chin once a week. She agreed to do this only because her social security checks don't quite pay the bills. He hopes the extra chin will soon release it's mighty grip from his neck. If he runs out of money before it does, or the old woman dies, his backup plan is exercise.