The text is back by popular demand.

Once a little criminal (the smallest criminal ever to be born) broke into a house. Snuck in through the cat door and stole mommy's pearls . Someday he'll be able to carry them all the way to the jewelers to cash them in. Way to go buddy.

Sharks were dancing on the poisoned beach because it did not effect them this poison, only people.

To my roving grandson, who I will never know.... Dear Philip, or Paul, or Preston, I realize you don't know who I am and I also know that you like to explore caves. Just remember to be careful inside caves. They're very dark and very lonesome.

A fairly obvious ringer in a fairly unpublicized competition failed to meet the weight requirements and had to forfeit his golden scepter again. Three cheers for him. He showed all of us the way.

Conversation was easy for a bunch of no talent actors, with expense accounts and access to large cats. Yes we will all pretend to be friend with them around christmas time. If only for the greeting cards.

A cloud, of significant cloud intelligence, passed on a message through the rain drops. It was later deciphered after being determined morse code. The message said; "I'm not really here. I'm just on vacation.".

A young boy with the incredible ability to shoot paint from his eyes, spends all of his time in his room working on a great canvas that spans the wall. Eventually he drops dead. Later the autopsy reveals that the young boy had the ability to shoot blood from his eyes.

50 Cats rent an apartment together. The each have a monthly income of about $4. So it all works out. The just have to buy there cat nip and tuna fish at Kosco.